0 to 2 in 287 Days...and Living to Blog About It!!!

Dear Dustin,

(I know, I know, Father's Day has come and gone...but I had to post a belated post for the extra special new daddy in my life!)

Dear Dustin (aka daddy),

Wow, where do I start?  I remember asking how you felt on Father's Day last year and you quickly responded that you were FINE.  Ironically, I wasn't FINE.  I had survived Mother's Day, barely.  And, honestly, I just couldn't understand why on Earth there was not a baby in our lives to call you daddy.

I don't know if you remember but I bought you a very cute card.  It had a dad that was throwing a ball to nobody and there was a dog in the background.  The dog said to his owner, "Gees, you are really ready to be a dad aren't you?"  It was funny and cute but unbearable all at the same time.  I yearned for us to have a family.  To have more than just the two of us.

When we got the call about Gavin, I will never forget the immediate pride that came over your face when you heard he was a boy.  You have affectionately referred to him as "my boy" ever since.  I know you truly didn't care boy or girl, just healthy...but I could tell you were totally pumped to be a daddy to a little boy.

When I saw you hold Gavin for the first time, I fell in love with you all over again.  I am so proud to be your wife.  I always thought you would be a great dad but seeing it in real life was amazing.  I will never forget the first night going down to the nursery every two hours so we could be the ones to hold and feed him instead of the nurses.  Then, the second night when he could sleep in our room for the first time.  You were so calm.  I needed calm.  I don't know how you always do it but you manage every situation so well.  Thank you for that.

Leaving the hospital.  Wow!!!  I will never forget the smile on both of our faces as we pulled away and headed toward home with Gavin.  We couldn't drive fast enough...but you aren't a speeder, so the speed limit had to be fast enough, LOL!

 I know I joke about it now.  But, every single time I see Gavin's eyes light up when he sees you, I melt a little more.  I never could have imagined our lives would be this perfect.  Thank you for all you do and for all that you are.  There is so much that I can't wait to share with you and Gavin.  I just don't know where to start.  So, I guess I will begin by just loving both of you with all of my heart.  I am totally devoted to being your wife and Gavin's mom and couldn't ask for anything more.

Love,
me

O.K. now for the fun Father's Day pics from our day.  We headed up to New Buffalo with our friends Gindy, Brian, and Harper.  We ate a yummy lunch and headed to the beach for a short visit. 

Florida Fun

I am sitting by the pool blogging, so this post is going to be lots of pictures and very little writing.  Hope everybody had a great Valentine's Day.  I know we did!

One more day in the sun and then it is back to good old Indiana.  All good things must come to an end, right?

We Are the Proud New Owners of...

a brand new FURNACE!!!  Can you sense the sarcasm in this post?  I can think of about a million other things I would rather spend our hard earned money on.  Guess, we just have to suck it up and move on.  The pleasures of owning a home:)

Saturday night we went to bed and everything was fine.  Sunday morning was a very different story.  It was 57 degrees when we woke up.  Yikes!!!  We called a local heating company first thing, they were awesome!  They came out right away...broke the news...and had a representative here with space heaters and our replacement options.  Last night we slept in the family room with the fireplace going all night and had three space heaters throughout the house to keep the pipes from freezing.  They replaced the furnace today and everything is back to normal. 

Here is a picture of our newest investment.  Isn't she a beauty?

To Be, or Not to Be:

on t.v...that is the question.  You probably think I am kidding, right?  BUT, I am not!  Many of you have told me you think I should right a book about our experiences with infertility and adoption.  Apparently, somebody thinks we have quite the story to share with others via a documentary on television.  Telling our story is a very emotional and private thing.  I am not sure if I can do it without knowing how our story will end.  In my heart, I know the happy ending will come...so maybe I could manage. 

As many of you know, my husband is not a big fan of lots of attention, so he wants nothing to do with being on television.  However, he understands it is possible that sharing our struggles on the way to parenthood might help other people on the same journey.  Since the documentary is primarily designed to be from the woman's perspective, I decided to speak with the producer/representative last Friday about this opportunity.  I am unable to share much more information about this right now.  They are speaking to many ladies and need to find just the right fit to make the documentary work.  I guess, if I am meant to help others by telling our story, then everything will work out and I'll just know it is the right thing to do.

As for our prayer request of last week, it does not seem like anything will come out of it at this time.  So, that baby must not have been the baby for us.  Our baby is still out there waiting.  We will find him or her soon.  I can feel it.

Chicago Fun

Well to wrap up 2008, we decided to head into Chicago for a little rest and relaxation.  We have always loved the lights and try to get in atleast once during the Holiday Season.  Our original goal was to see the Broadway show, "Wicked."  Apparently, we had the same idea as half of Chicago...because we couldn't get tickets for either night.  No worries though, we still had a great time.

On the first night, we had dinner at the Signature Room in the Hancock Building.  I ate there once when I was really little and still remember the tiniest details from that night!  I have always said I would like to go back.  So, we made reservations and dined with an absolute breathtaking view of the city.  The restaurant is on the 95th floor.  Our table was right by the window and we looked out over Navy Pier.  It was definitely  something we would do again.

We also went to the Shedd Aquarium.  I wish we lived a bit closer to the city so I could take my kindergarten friends there for a field trip.  Seriously, this place is amazing!  Why no pictures you ask?  Well, unlike the gazillions of other tourists, I followed the rules and did not use the flash on my camera...so I didn't have any that turned out well.  Why oh why do I always have to be such a rule follower?!?!?

We did a little shopping on the Magnificient Mile and ate dinner at Gibson's the second night.  Wonderful, wonderful steakhouse!!!  Then we went and listened to a little Jazz at a club up by Rush and Division.  The above picture was taken there.  Dustin just loves live music.  So, we heard a little "Sweet Home Chicago" and then headed back to the hotel.

Here are some pictures of Christmas lights from the city.

This is the tree in front of the Hancock Building.

I know you can't tell much by this picture, but this place was crazy.  It seriously looked like Christmas exploded!  If you are in the city with your little ones, this is a great place to take them to see some serious Christmas lights and grab a yummy cheeseburger.  It is called Butch McGuires and is located on Division in Chicago.  There is even a train that goes overhead.  So cool!

These are some decorations from The Drake hotel.  It was also beautifully decorated.

Well, I am off to clean the house.  Hope all of you have a very Happy New Year's.  See you in 2009!!!

Traditions and Special Gifts

As Christmas nears, I thought it would be nice to write about a few of the special traditions we have established as a family.  I am sure the list will only grow as we add a little one to the mix! 

The Ornament Tradition

Our first Christmas together was in 1996.  I believe my Aunt Lanette gave us the first ornament pictured below.  I remember unwrapping it and getting it out for the next Christmas and being so excited to have it as a memory of our first Christmas together.  So, in 1997 I found another ornament and made it our special ornament for that year.  Now, we have a collection of ornaments from all 13 of our Christmas celebrations together.  Sometimes it is an ornament I purchase to help us remember something about the year.  For example, one year we went to the Capital One Bowl in Florida, so our ornament that year was a Purdue football ornament.  Some years we get an ornament as a gift from a friend or family member and it becomes our ornament of the year. 

Our ornament this year has extra special meaning to us.  A caring friend of mine Amanda came over for a visit, in early November, after we learned that our birth mom had changed her mind.  She spent some time with me and gave me a little gift before she left.  I don't think she will ever know how much her visit and special gift meant to me.  Thank you, Amanda.  So you might be wondering, what was the gift?

The gift is a beautiful cross ornament pictured above that has a little charm on it that says 2008.  Although this Christmas is not going to be what we had envisioned, it will still be special because of the love and support we have from our family and friends near and far.  This beautiful cross will forever remind me of our adoption journey.  Even after we have our baby home, I never want to forget how much we loved our baby before he or she became a part of our forever family.  We pray that next year we are able to buy an ornament that says "Baby's First Christmas."

The Real Tree

If we are going to be in town for Christmas, we always go and get a real tree.  Now, I would love to make this sound like the perfect event in our family but usually it ends with me frustrating my husband.  One year the tree was way too small, one year he had to cut what I thought was way too many branches off the bottom of the tree to get it in the stand, and one year it had a random hole that made the entire tree look uneven.  I could go on and on...but something magical happens once we get all of the lights, ribbon, ornaments, and angel on the tree.  It always ends up being "the best tree we have ever had!"  I am not sure how this transformation occurs but it does every single time.  This year our tree is an 11.5 foot Frasier Fir that has the most perfect shape.  We both were especially nostalgic this year while placing all of our special ornaments on the tree.  We literally relived the memories with each ornament we placed on the tree.  Here are two pictures of the tree.  I tried my best to get a picture with the lights on but it was a little fuzzy.  You get the idea!

Grandma's Tree

The picture below is of a ceramic tree my grandmother painted years and years ago.  Now, I have to tell you I drooled over this tree since I was itty bitty.  I loved the multicolored lights on this decoration and especially loved having the honor of turning it on with the really cool switch.  It made me feel extra grown up.  While in Alabama a few Christmases ago, my grandma said, "Baby, if you love it that much, just take it home with you!"  I still get teary when I get it out every year.  This year was very tough with the passing of my grandfather Thanksgiving weekend.  I know this Christmas is going to be especially difficult for my grandmother.  I can't even begin to imagine.  Please pray for her and the rest of my family.

A Special Gift

This year, we received a special gift from our niece, Anna.  Michelle took her to a pottery place and let her paint this plate for us.  It is really beautiful!  I think Michelle was so smart to have her paint a Christmas tree because all she had to do was have Anna put dots for the lights.  I love this special gift and look forward to getting it out for all of our future Christmas celebrations.

Well, I certainly hope to share more of our Christmas traditions as the big day grows near.  But, for now, I am off to get ready for brunch at the Tippecanoe Place.  They always decorate beautifully and have the yummiest food!!!

Steady As We Go

We have gotten an astonishing amount of emails, cards, phone calls, text messages, Facebook postings, and over 600 hits on our blog (probably mostly from our loved ones checking in so often:) in the last four days...so we thought we might want to post a little something letting all of you know we are still alive.  We are so grateful for all of you and are sorry we haven't had a chance to touch base with everybody personally.  Each time we read your words or hear your voices, we truly can feel ourselves moving forward and getting stronger.  We are hanging in there.  The agency allowed us to send an email to our birth mom, and this provided nice closure for us.  We really wanted her to know that of course we are sad but understood why she made the decision that she did.  If her little one will not be ours in a few short weeks, then our hope is she can enjoy the remainder of her pregnancy.  We will move on and find our baby.

I have had a few people ask why we continue to blog about such a painful circumstance.  Writing is therapeutic for me.  My hope is one day we will look back on these entries and see it all make sense.  We had to go through all of this to find the baby that was just right for our family.

One of our favorites songs that has always been a "theme" song of ours, if you will, is Steady As We Go by Dave Matthews.  These lyrics have always had special meaning to the two of us and now seem to be even more relevant. 

I'll walk halfway around the world
Just to sit down by your side
And I would do most anything, girl
To be the apple of your eye
Well troubles, they may come and go
But good times, they're the gold
And if the road gets rocky, girl
Just steady as we go

Any place you wanna go
Know I'll be next to you
If it's treasure, baby, you're looking for
I'll search the whole world through
I know troubles, they may come and go
But good times, they're the gold
So if the road gets rocky, girl
Just steady as we go

When the storm comes down you shelter me
When I don't say a word and you know exactly what i mean
In the darkest times, oh, you shine on me
You set me free and keep me steady as we go

So if your heart wrings dry, my love
I will fill your cup
And if your load gets heavy, girl
I will lift you up
Well troubles, they may come and go
But good times be the gold
So if the road gets rocky, girl
Just steady as we go

Rest, Relaxation, and the Pink Rug

We had a very special Friday date night yesterday!  I had some spa gift certificates that I had saved over the last year and decided to be unselfish and share them with my husband:)  So, we went to a lovely spa up the road and had 80 minute massages in the couples VIP suite.  The room was lovely!  The massages were amazing!  I feel like a new woman!  Thanks for a great date!  I love you!!!

So, the pink rug thing probably sounded a bit random, but I have searched high and low for a hot pink rug for the nursery and finally decided on this one.

What do you think?  It is very, very pink:)  They call it the "shaggy, raggy rug" and apparently it cleans up really well just in the washer.  I thought this was a big perk.  Also, is it o.k. if my pink tones are off a bit?  How much variance should I have?  The fabric sample I have for the pillows and the hot pink frame are a bit different hue.  Maybe I'll take a picture and post it.

Fall is Here...Winter is Near!!!

We are so ready for winter!!!  Our baby girl will be joining our family at Christmas, so we are happy to see another season pass us.  We decided to spend our last day of summer enjoying some time together.  Things have been busy and quality time is always a plus:) 

Since it is prime apple picking time, we decided to head up and join the picking festivities.  We rode out to the field on a wagon and roamed through the fields in order to find the most perfect apples.  I love nature but was a little worried about bees and etc.  However, the entire day was a blast and bug free, for the most part.  Apple picking was really quite a deal!  The apples were only $0.75 a pound...and almost 11 pounds later we found ourselves on the road to one of our favorite restaurants.  What an amazing Sunday, Fun Day!

Here are some pictures from today!

 

The tractor that took us out to the field to pick some apples.  Dustin thinks I am going to make him apple pie...we'll see.

Here is a picture of me on the wagon heading out to the field.

Here is a picture of Dustin picking the most perfect apples.  He was totally embracing nature as I took pictures for the "sake of the blog!"

Finally, here is a picture of the two of us early on in our apple picking adventure.  We can't wait until fall of next year.  Although today was a blast, having a baby to share it with would make everything so much more special.

Happy Fall!!!

Go, Cubs, Go!!!

What a beautiful weekend!  We went into Chicago for a Cubs game.  Although they didn't win the game,  they seem to be on the right track for greatness.  We are so, so hopeful that '08 is going to be THE year:)

Here are some more photos from our trip.

 

On the adoption front, this is a big week!  We will go to the next doctor's appointment with our birth mom and get to hear our little girl's heartbeat for the first time!!! I will update the blog for month ten after the appointment.

Happy Labor Day!!!